Saturday, May 01, 2010

Our computer is fixed. What I realize....

I am at home..... on our big computer. YAY! It is fixed. Still very very slow... we only have dial up. But it will work. It was a power supply thingie. It was less than $100 so I am thankful.

It has been a lazy dazy Saturday. I feel sorta blah.

Truth is .... I have gained back 20 of the 40lbs I lost. I am so discouraged. I started back in Sept. 2008.... and I lost 40lbs over a period of 5 months. I kept it off.... until the holidays back at Thanksgiving/Christmas. I really worked so hard to lose the 40.... and I really really thought it was a life change. I honestly thought that I would never go back to being "obese." I hate that word. Ugh. I know that I didn't lose the weight in my own strength.... it was God. I thanked Him, praised Him.... He was the reason. I felt so much better with the weight off.... more energy, just a sense of contentment. My feet didn't hurt..... anyway.... I just can not seem to get back in that frame of mind. It really bothers me that I am back to my old ways. I love sweets. Chocolate, cookies, ice cream.... ALL of it.

I do not want this to consume me.... but I find myself thinking of this most of the day. I am still walking 1.5 miles 4-6 times a wk. I think just as much as seeing the weight back is how "shocked" I am that it wasn't a life change for me.

So I said it. I know it is very materialistic.... so many other things are so much more important. Thank you for reading.... for stopping by.



  1. You are not alone in this Teena. I have gained and lost the same twenty pounds more times than I can remember. Every single time I vow it will be different, and every single time I blow it.
    The great thing is grace. We always, always have the chance to start again. I have ten pounds I need to lose. Before it gets to twenty, I need to do something about it. Let's pray for each other to really make the life changes we know He wants us to make.

  2. I so understand what you are saying and Linda too. I know what I do eating that icecream cone tonight and eating out twice this weekend...and it is only Sat. night. I could use your prayers too...and I will pray for both of you (o: I really need to walk ankle has been hurting me. I need to get it strong and get out and walk.

  3. Yeah, now you can get back on line. Praise the Lord for fresh starts and new beginnings in Him~


    p.s I always tell my boys (we have 5) that I look good for having gained AND lost 230lbs over the last 20 yrs. Hee hee. With each baby boy I gained 50lbs :-0 except with the last one I only gained 30lbs :-/

    Hang in there~ tomorrow is a new day!

  4. Hi Teena, I am going through the same thing and so mad at myself and can't seem to do anything about it. I lost 10 lbs early this year and thought I was on the way to losing all I needed to lose which is a lot--then got sidetracked by some candy laying around, got off my healthy eating plan and have gained almost all of it back.

    I pray that we get this figured out and are successful--I know it is not good for my health--and yes, our feet will feel better.


  5. Teena,
    So glad your back online at home!! Dial up is such a bummer!! But better than nothing right?! :-)

    Back after Eli was born I went up to 172 pounds--not good for being 5' tall!! But in the past few years I've slowly whittled down almost 30 of those pounds. In many ways I am thankful for our financial woes cause we ate fast food so much and Steve and I were always going out to a restraunt and to see a movie (gotta have popcorn!!). Without access to that stuff I am slowly losing. But it's hard! I mean Josh is doing the P90x workout and jogging. He "encourages" (read "hassles") me about working out and eating better--but seems like when I try so hard to do those things I gain weight because I'm always thinking about the stuff I can't have or do and blow it every time. Sigh!! I know how bad it feels to have to carry all that extra weight and I pray that the Lord will help you fight that battle and be victorious!!

  6. You are definitely not alone. Some years back I lost 65lbs and gained it all back. I wish I'd stopped and did something about it before I gained it ALL back. Now I'm trying again to take off some weight. I just want to be healthy and not huff and puff after putting all the laundry away (3 flights of stairs a few times) It has to be life changes we can stick to.

  7. Good morning Teena,
    I think that you & I are going to go visit Cinnamon & spend some time. :)xo
    I think we would feel better!
    Love your self as God made
    you friend... the rest will come! :)
    You are a blessing & thanks for sharing.
    Blessings & prayers,