Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Still here.....

I am sorry. Its been a difficult week. My sustaining longing is hard at times.... I think if you have followed my blog for a while you may know what this is.... sometimes I just become so weary. Sometimes I am fustrated.... sometimes weepy. But, I have so much to be thankful for... God's faithful is amazing and He is always with me. He knows exactly where I am at.... and He grows me through it.

A couple of weeks ago the youngest three and I were in Wmart. I was doing our grocery shopping and tired..... I went by the fabric dept. (yes *this* wmart still has fabric) and was looking at the mark down fabric. I am making my boys quilts. I have already made the girls theirs. Alyssa was with me as I said and she started in about how she wanted some fabric.... and "Oh mama can't you get me some...." Well I snapped at her... really snapped and then I just put my stuff down and went to cash out. She apologized and said "please, mama, its ok get it... I am sorry..... " I didn't.

Today when we were in Wmart she told me she was going to take the boys to the toy aisle. After a few minutes she came back.... she had a bag in her hand.

do you know where I am going with this........

"Here, Mama, I wanted to get you this..... "

Well, needless to say I cried. She cried and apologized again.... I apologized for being so snappy! Ugh.... I continue to fail in this journey of motherhood.

The Lord has really been showing me .... just how much they take in our words. When I fuss at this or that..... even my attitude..... if I am frowning.....

so this week has been hard.

I shouldn't complain, snap or frown.... God has blessed me more than I could imagine.

May the JOY of the Lord be yours....


  1. Ugh, that's been me ALL week!! What a precious daughter you have. The Lord uses their love to show us HIS love, don't ya think?

    Thank you for sharing your heart~


  2. Teena,
    I remember instances like that. Haven't had one in a little while. Alyssa sounds so much like my girls. :-) Not too long ago, Sarah and I went shopping and she bought me a bunch of beading supplies just because I always buy stuff for her (food, clothes, medicine, you know, stuff that parents are supposed to buy) so I thought that it was so sweet. She doesn't have much money because she isn't able to work with her bipolar and panic attacks. We're in a tough place with her right now. She's really struggling. But I do know that it always makes me feel better to do stuff for others and I think that was what she thought too. :-) It is nice to know that you're loved even when you're acting a bit unlovable. That's what family is all about, right. Home... that's where you go and they HAVE to take you in!! Ha Ha!!

    Thanks for sharing. And just so you know, I do still pray for you! :-)

  3. Hiya Teena. We ALL have days and weeks like that - unfortunately! It is called be fallen human beings - not failing the 'journey of Motherhood'.

    As a matter of fact, I would say that if you have raised such a kind, thoughtful, generous, grateful, sweet and delightful daughter as Alyssa obviously is - than you are most definetely SUCCEEDING at this 'journey of Motherhood'!!!

    I don't have a daughter (YET!!) but I would love it if when I do she turns out as wonderful as your Mandy and Alyssa are. I'll certainly be coming to you for advise!!

    Sending (((HUGS))) across the pond! - Deedee

  4. Oh Dear sister,
    I am so with you. I am also pulling through a "valley" as I call it. Why is it so hard at times? When it seems others are so together and we know weve so much to be thankful for...just a hard point?
    I will pray for you...& yes, your sweet girls response & actions are a reflection of the "Mother & God in you"!

  5. Oh Teena, I have had so many of those moments. I have found that even when I felt I had utterly blown it, the Father poured out His grace. I see that in your daughter's sweet response. Our children are under-girded with the great love we have for them, and the Father lovingly, graciously mends the mistakes we have made.
    Blessings to you.

  6. To be a unsnappy Mama would be wonderful. I think that all moms snap at times and none of us good ones are ever happy about it.

    I'm so sorry to hear that you've had some rough weeks lately. I haven't been praying for you as often as I have in the past. I'm going to start praying more for you and your family situation right now. You are such a faithful prayer warrior and I am so proud to call you my friend.

    Love in Christ,